Diary of a Doc: Dr. Diane -- Reflections on Becoming an MD and a Mom

I often get asked "How do you do it? Being a mom of 2, pediatrician and co-founder of MD MOMS?". I find myself wondering why the question was posed, as it suggests that I'm managing an insurmountable feat of some kind. I'd imagine I'm not all that different from most career moms out there. It comes from the delicate, not always controllable, but somehow effective balancing act of just doing the best I can, in roles that really fuse together and become one. A role that is shaped by life but one that I hope would be an adequate model for my kids to observe and learn from.

Having fled Vietnam during the height of the war at the age of 10 and immigrating to the US, I've experienced what it means to start anew in a very different land and culture. I have memories of a more privileged life in Vietnam, with nannies, tutors and chauffeurs. Yet my more intense recollections were of my efforts to assimilate into being a 5th grader in America. I learned that my pajamas are not to be worn at school, that holding my sister's hands while we walked home from school was seen as 'too intimate', and that you can actually refer to your teachers by their first name without any reprimand. It wasn't always easy, but we worked hard
to assimilate and excel.
As life went on, I began to recognize that my motivation stems from observing my parents' sacrifices to rebuild their lives from scratch for the benefit of their children. Therefore, I strived to take advantage of every blessed opportunity afforded to me by excelling in academics. I entered UC Davis medical school after attending UCSD and graduated from my pediatrics residency without any breaks for travel or real work/life experiences.
I got married after internship and became pregnant at around the second year of residency, and by the time I joined my first pediatric practice, I was a mother with 2 kids under the age of 4 (gulp).

It's often said that having children makes you a better pediatrician. While I think that is certainly true, personally, I feel that my experiences in my practice have taught me to be a better mom. As I struggle with a tragic diagnosis, or a difficult situation, I've become better at putting life into perspective and have tried to "not sweat the small stuff" at home. Through my children's young years, I worked full time, but as they have grown beyond after-school care, I've cut back my hours at the office. My husband is a physician also, so the whirlwind of both medical schedules and the academic schedules of 2 children left us with a short window of quality time in the evenings (often filled with homework) certainly not conducive to a relaxing bedtime routine!
Now my hours at the office coincide with their school time, and I'm a ready presence for them when they return from school. Oftentimes, homework time is a perfect time for me to work on my homework: MD Moms projects.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that life is easy, but I know first hand that it could be a lot tougher! Though my children are far removed from the first generation immigrant experience, I hope that they will strive to do the best they can with whatever life floats their way. And if they ever do find themselves having challenges with multitasking, I will remind them to do what I do and "not sweat the small stuff"!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you!!