Diary of a Doc: Dr JJ -- 1186 Days and Counting

First of all, I want to thank you all for your good wishes for DOD. He’s hanging in at home and gathering a little strength, day by day. As for the boy, he trekked to Chicago last weekend, riding shotgun with a librarian from Flint, for a national backgammon tournament. Backgammon shares a space in his heart with poker, but somehow the former seems more legitimate in mom’s mind (no seedy, smoky, sunglass-clad, shifty-eyed visuals in my brain). Having never set foot on the streets of “ChiTown” (except for his layovers in the airport), Max now understands why everyone LOVES Chicago (except in the deep of Winter). Here he was, kid from the BIG City, calling mom in absolute wonder at the gorgeous architecture, river through the City, admiring the vibrancy and beauty of this incredible jewel in the middle of the US! The tournament was held out in the ‘burbs, and Max quickly was humbled (and his scratched together entry fees and buy ins quickly gone) by the finesse and skill held by those many years senior to him. He didn’t mind being excluded early – as that gave him time to meet his heroes of this “sport,” garner some knowledge, and most importantly, stand back and realize that winning at this level requires years and years of practice, dedication, and, as he realized, many losses on the way to victory. His mind set zoomed from the fantasy of winning (as a young neophyte) to the reality of realizing that true dedication, humbling losses and resilient persistence are the qualities of someone who succeeds. I hope that he will apply this experience, and these lessons to his life on campus, and his life on this planet. I already started to see a hint of it when he was not hired as a campus tour guide (a plum paid position), and set about to try again in the fall (with no anger, angst, or assigning blame)……now let’s hope he finds a job this summer as he returns home April 29 for 3 months!

Diary of a Doc: Dr. JJ -- 1240 Days & Counting

Our intrepid Max, fully outfitted in khaki green Northface expedition parka and LL Bean subzero boots continues to love the freezing cold, ice storms, snow and subzero temperatures that define the heart of winter in Michigan. Spring break for the Wolverines comes the third week of February -- as the kids are likely to be in the depths of seasonal affective disorder, dreading short days and long nights, and tired of the daily slog through snow drifts to get to class, the prospect of a little fun for a week keeps them warm with hope.
Max's first inclination was to return home for some R&R. However, knowing that we would force him out on the trail of identifying employment for summer dashed his dreams of sleeping in, eating trays of food lovingly prepared by mom, and the prospect of doing nothing. Skip to Plan B -- a trip to Mount Rushmore, by bus, enduring 36 hours in a smelly seat with perfect strangers. Good enough? NO! Skip to Plan C -- a quick trip to New York to visit the United Nations, see a Broadway show, take in the Museums before they are impassable in the Spring, a return to Ellis Island to caress the inscribed names of his great grandparents -- you bet! With the kind offer of a friend to stay in her apartment while there, Max will trek to the bigger city to take inn a little culture, a lot of history, and while not really having a chance to defrost, enjoy the vibrancy that is Manhattan.
It will be a little late to see Conan, but no less thrilling.
So what does Mom do? Put away the trays (ready to be laden with home cooked food), forget about fluffing up the pillows, put herself back in the office to work, and mope a bit...all part of the necessary process of emancipation and detachment that both parent and young people experience at this stage of life! So much of the college experience comes from not what is conveyed in the classroom, but rather the coping, resourcefulness and creativity that comes from striking out on one's own, problem solving, living within a budget and surging forward steadily into real adulthood.
Yeah, I'm moping a bit, but inside, I am totally proud!

Diary of a Doc: Dr. JJ

A year and a half ago, I started to blog about my son in my practice newsletter - counting down the 400 days he had at home until his graduation from High School. Was he ready to go forth into the big world of college? Had we given him the right tools?
He successfully completed his journey and started as a freshman at the University of Michigan in September. Yet another countdown started, as I blog about his progress in college, our progress as empty nesters, and reflections of the life he faces currently. Enjoy as we pick up on this week's entry, and check back every Friday as we update our countdown...

1257 Days and Counting...

Brrrrr.....it's cold in Ann Arbor - freezing temps are hitting the entire Midwest and Northeast. From the comfort of our tropical climate, we shudder at the thought of even a 40 degree morning in LA - and yet thousands of our kids trudge bravely through several feet of snow, ice and slush to go to class, grab a hot chocolate, nourish in the dining hall, or just go to work! Max related that the other night, in the midst of an almost-blizzard, the fire alarms went off in his dorm, the kids trudged downward and outside, dreading the cold, and beleagured at the hour. What did they face at the front door - an army of energetic colleagues from the dorm across the way - and a pile of thousands of pre-made snowballs at the ready! The battle was on, the freezing temps didn't matter, as the proud warriors engaged in a contest that none of us could or would survive at our age. This is just one example of how our perspective changes with youth. Seriously, aside from a brief weather report from Max, I have not heard ONE complaint from him about the cold. His daily description is "It's so beautiful mom", and "thanks for the great coat and boots - 'cause I'm not cold."....and here I am this week, dreading a trip to NY, Boston and Providence next Friday - imagining that upon leaving the safe confines of a warm airport terminal, that I will IMMEDIATELY turn into a human popsicle and never recover! Of course the very mention of my anxiety arouses huge guffaws from my son, and a reminder from him that I have a little natural insulation to help me through such ordeals - oy!

The kids are gearing up for a celebration of hope on Tuesday as the inauguration and its' personal significance to Max and his friends is truly huge. I hope that we all stop and pause on Tuesday and realize the signficance of this very day. Think about the millions who will happily stand in the cold, ice, and snow to witness history, to revere freedom, and to support our country and its new president. Take the opportunity to share this event with your children, as it will generate such a variety of discussion points - both from the past and present. Whatever your politics, it is incumbent upon all of us to link together in mutual support in order to survive these tough economic and political times...

Have a great week - and enjoy this historic moment!